Once Hazrat Amir (R.A.) visited Hazrat Omer (R.A.) in his house. He found him lying on a bed while the children were playing on his chest, Amir felt this scene very heavy. Hazrat Omer realized his reluctant feeling and asked him about his behavior with his children. Amir told: When I enter the house, every one is dumb founded. H. Omer told very gravely. Amir ! Even being a member of Mohammedens, you are not cognizant of the kind and complacent behavior to be shown towards the family.
A child has to enjoy from his mother the right of milk, and this is the gratitude which Quran has reminded us of, while stressing the need to behave the mother in an extraordinarily pleasant way. The child is nurtured in his mother's belly by her blood. This lucidity means that the child adopts the same mentality and ideology that hover around the mind of the mother. So it is an ordained duty of a mother to instill in her newborn the teaching of Allah and His Prophet (P.B.U.H.) with every drop of milk. and to pour in his body the love of Prophet (P.B.U.H.) and his religion in such a way that the dignity of Allah and love of His Prophet (P.B.U.H.) are etched on his heart. The gusto and beatitude, realized by a mother after accomplishing her job very well, may be appreciated from those mother who train their children in a right direction.
Avoid the inept handling of the children like frightening them because the fright of the initial age may extend to all the span of his life, and such frightened children come short in the life. The boys are scared by repeated interruptions and reproach for trivial reasons. On the contrary, through a benevolent behaviour with the children, the feeling of obedience emanates in them. Really the children are a support to their parents, a prestige to the family and an asset to all human being.
The life of the parents may be likened to a sky, which keeps them under its blue umbrella. If they make some demand. it should be conceded generously, and if they are dejected, their dejection should be dispelled. Don't be so insufferable burden on them that they get monotonous of your life and look after your premature demise, and keep you away from them in place of keeping you adherent to them.
Carry your children in your lap, kiss them and pass your hand on their heads according to their age and rank. If the parents are rigid and strict. initially the boys get scared, then they begin to hate their parents. A sincere and profuse love leads them to self confidence and leave healthy hearings upon their natural growth. Don't lose your children and don't take them for a burden upon you. Don't link the financial paucity to the presence of your children.
"Don't kill your children for the fear of strait. We provide them and you both".
In deed, your righteous children are the tools to keep up your cultural traditions, religious teachings and the message of Monotheism, and the only inpetus for a believer behind his desire to be blessed with a good child is that his heir shall keep the message of the Prophet (P.B.U.H.) alive.
Don't count the shortcomings of your children in the presence of others and don't put them to shame. It is your responsibility to safeguard their self respect. Don't expose to them that you have given up the hope of their rectification, because this declaration either may result in their inferiority complex or lead to their fury, perturbation and obstinacy under the pretext that when they are unable to be rectified, it is better for them to be pertinacious in their bad habits. Naturally the boys are interested in stories and that stories occupy their minds. So you should narrate regularly to them the stories of the Prophets, Hajeological biographies and the salient deeds of the followers of the Prophet (P.B.U.H.) and the Muslim warriors, and rehear the same from them. Allocate for them a bit of your time despite your numerous engagement. When you find your children in a pleasant temperament, you should describe to them that the prophet (P.B.U.H.) had passionate affection towards the children, and that his face was turning reddish, as a sign of delight, whenever he saw a child.
Once happened that the Prophet (P.B.U.H.) was kissing Hazrat Hassan (A.S.). A Bedouin was much astonished to see this, He told: Do you kiss? I have ten children but I never kissed any one. The impression of displeasure appeared on the face of prophet (P.B.U.H.) and He told: What I can do if Allah has driven off the mercy and pity from your heart?
The Undue affection and love paves way for children to obduracy and arrogance. Try judiciously to put an end to this habit instead Of conceding their all due or undue demands.
Allah does not like a loud and stentorian voice. Don't yell before the children in such a manner that they misconceive this odd behavior for a good habit. If the parents talk politely, the accent of the children shall tend automatically to be polite and sweet.
Pursuade them to do their works with their own hands. The reliance on the servants creates in the children lethargy and dynamism, and they fail to rise to the occasions. Such boys are not generally industrious and hard working.
Occasionally you should charge them to give the poorer and other miserable categories foods, money or clothes so that the sympathetic feeling towards the down-trodden may emanate in them. you should share them their food and fetch them the morsels. You should also advise them to do the same with their brothers and sisters. This habit shall strengthen in the children the consciousness of popular Rights and social justice.
Allah has declared it obligatory to distribute honestly and the daughters ' shares among them. We are not authorized to subject their share to any minus or plus amendment. Any frustration or procrastination to give the daughters their legitimate share is synonymous to treason and disrespect to the Divine Religion.
The prayers of parents are accepted in favor of their children irrespective of their nature. It is the habit of parents to pray for their children from their deep hearts while Allah, the Merciful, the benevolent, does not undo any prayer, emanating from the depth of the heart.
KHWAJA SHAMS-UD-DEEN AZEEMI
IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, THE MERCIFUL, THE BENEVOLENT
Dedicated to those scientists, who are inching towards the cognizance of the facts, spotlighted by Allah Almighty, in the wake of their intelligent observation for the top vertex of scientific achievement, which is not other than the "Disastrous end of the Universe". And this is probably during 15th century of Lunar calendar.
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