The Share of a Daughter in Inheritance

On one occasion, Amir al-Mu'mineen, Umar ibn al-Khattab (RA), was observed lying down at home with children playfully climbing on his chest. This sight was distressing to his visitor, who remarked on the situation. Upon noticing the furrows of concern on the visitor’s face, Umar (RA) asked,

"How do you conduct yourself with your children?"

The visitor replied,

"When I enter my home, my family is paralyzed with fear, and they stand in awe."

Umar (RA), deeply moved by the response, gently reproached him, saying, “Amir, as a member of the Ummah of Muhammad (P.B.U.H.), do you not understand that a Muslim must approach their family with tenderness and affection?”

The right of a mother over her child is fundamental. Islam emphasizes this right through the Quran, which stresses the importance of honoring and treating the mother with exceptional kindness. The child’s development begins in the mother’s womb, sustained by her blood for nine months, which means the thoughts, emotions, and mindset of the mother influence the child’s formation. The mother’s role, therefore, is crucial in imparting the teachings of Allah and His Messenger (P.B.U.H.) through every drop of milk, cultivating a deep-seated love for the Prophet (P.B.U.H.) and Islam in the child’s heart. This nurturing instills the love of Allah and His Messenger within the child, providing a foundation for spiritual fulfillment that only those mothers who raise their children in truth can truly understand.

It is important to avoid instilling fear in children, as such fears, especially in early life, can have lasting effects. These fears prevent children from achieving their full potential. Harsh words, constant reprimanding, and the use of fear as a tool of discipline inhibit their growth. In contrast, kindness, affection, and gentleness foster a sense of obedience and respect, helping children flourish into prosperous individuals.

Children are the pillars of their parents’ support, the foundation of their old age, and the dignity of the family. They are an invaluable asset to humanity. The parents’ presence in the child’s life is like the protective shelter of the sky. When they request something, it is imperative to fulfill it with generosity. If they are distressed, it is the child’s duty to alleviate their sorrow. Parents should never become burdensome to their children nor cause them to wish for separation or their demise. Rather, parents’ closeness should be a source of comfort and mutual respect.

The manner in which children are treated by their parents significantly influences their psychological and emotional development. It is crucial to approach children with tenderness, affection, and respect for their individual needs and developmental stages. Harsh and authoritarian parenting initially instills fear in children, which may evolve into long-term resentment and emotional distancing. Conversely, a nurturing environment marked by love and empathy fosters positive self-regard and enhances the child's emotional resilience and self-confidence.

Parents must avoid perceiving their children as burdens or liabilities, particularly when faced with financial difficulties. The Quran explicitly addresses this concern, emphasizing that fear of poverty should never be a reason for neglecting or abandoning one's offspring. As stated in (Al-Isra 31), “And do not kill your children for fear of poverty. We provide for them as well as for you.” This divine injunction reinforces the concept that children are a blessing and a source of continuity for the family and society. Righteous offspring play a crucial role in perpetuating cultural values, religious teachings, and the overarching message of Tawhid (Oneness of Allah).

In nurturing children, parents must be mindful of their dignity and honor. Publicly criticizing or humiliating children can have detrimental effects on their self-esteem and lead to a sense of inferiority. It may also provoke rebellion, as children may internalize feelings of inadequacy or resentment. As guardians of their children's emotional well-being, parents must protect their dignity, refraining from any action that would diminish their sense of self-worth.

Children's formative years are profoundly shaped by the narratives and values they encounter. Storytelling, particularly when it pertains to the lives of the Prophets, the righteous, and notable Islamic figures, plays an important role in cultivating moral and spiritual values. By consistently sharing these stories with love and affection, parents help instill a sense of purpose, identity, and belonging in their children. It is essential for parents to set aside time to engage with their children, despite the demands of daily life.

The Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H.) himself set an exemplary model for interacting with children. His deep affection for his grandchildren, particularly his tender interaction with Hassan (RA), serves as a testament to the importance of showing love and care. A notable incident occurred when a Bedouin, observing the Prophet's act of affection, expressed surprise, remarking, "O Messenger of Allah, you show affection to children. I have ten children, but I have never kissed any of them." In response, the Prophet (P.B.U.H.) expressed his disapproval, stating, "If Allah has removed mercy and affection from your heart, what can I do?" This interaction underscores the centrality of mercy and compassion in child-rearing.

While it is essential to exhibit love and affection, parents must also exercise caution against overindulgence. Excessive pampering can lead to the development of undesirable traits, such as stubbornness and self-centeredness. Instead, fostering patience, resilience, and discipline through measured responses to children's demands is crucial for their long-term development. By balancing affection with boundaries, parents can promote emotional maturity and self-regulation, essential components of a child's growth.

The concept of parental behavior, especially in its verbal and emotional expressions, plays a crucial role in shaping the child's psychological development and social conduct. Allah (SWT) has specifically disfavored the use of harsh tones, underscoring the importance of gentle speech and measured interaction, particularly in familial contexts. The Quranic injunctions against aggressive communication highlight the potential harm of verbal abrasiveness, which not only undermines emotional well-being but also fosters negative communication patterns. Children, being highly impressionable, may equate raised voices or shouting with authority and respect, an internalized concept that could lead to the normalization of aggressive communication styles in their own behavior.

In contrast, the model of gentle speech and compassionate interaction taught by the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) provides a paradigm for effective and ethical communication within families. Research in developmental psychology confirms that children raised in environments where positive reinforcement, soft-spoken encouragement, and empathetic listening are prioritized tend to develop stronger interpersonal skills, emotional regulation, and empathy. This type of upbringing contributes to the child’s overall emotional intelligence, enabling them to navigate complex social situations with tact and kindness.

Furthermore, the promotion of self-reliance through active engagement in household responsibilities is a key factor in the development of resilience and autonomy. The Quran and Hadith both stress the importance of labor and self-sufficiency as foundational values in Islam. Excessive dependence on servants or external aides can breed passivity, hinder problem-solving abilities, and diminish one's sense of responsibility. Modern theories in educational psychology also affirm that when children are involved in daily chores, they develop a sense of ownership over their environment and the tasks they are expected to perform, which enhances their cognitive and practical skills. Additionally, such tasks provide valuable opportunities for children to practice time management, diligence, and organizational skills, which are crucial for their personal growth and future success.

Equally significant is the cultivation of altruism and social justice in children. The Islamic framework of charity and empathy—embodied in the concept of Zakat and voluntary charity—emphasizes the importance of fostering a spirit of generosity and social responsibility from an early age. Involving children in acts of charity, such as distributing food or financial assistance to those in need, helps them understand the human obligation to aid the less fortunate. Sociological studies consistently show that children exposed to philanthropic behavior within the family are more likely to grow up with a strong commitment to social equity and collective well-being. Moreover, when children are encouraged to contribute to their community, whether by sharing meals or assisting siblings, they internalize the values of cooperation, solidarity, and mutual respect.

Lastly, the issue of inheritance in Islam underscores the ethical and divine importance of fairness and justice in financial matters. The Quranic verses detailing the distribution of inheritance, particularly the specific allocation of shares to both sons and daughters, demonstrate a comprehensive approach to equity and social balance. Any attempt to alter the prescribed inheritance shares—whether by withholding the rightful portion of a daughter or engaging in manipulative practices—constitutes a violation of divine law and an affront to social justice. Islamic jurisprudence on inheritance not only seeks to protect the rights of individuals but also aims to ensure the equitable redistribution of wealth, thereby preventing social disparity and promoting collective harmony. From a legal and ethical standpoint, adhering to these principles safeguards the integrity of familial structures, fosters intergenerational equity, and upholds the moral responsibility of wealth distribution.

In conclusion, the ethical guidelines set forth in Islamic teachings regarding communication, self-reliance, charity, and inheritance offer profound insights into the development of moral character and societal harmony. By embracing these principles, parents not only shape their children’s personal growth but also contribute to the broader social fabric, ensuring the continued flourishing of both familial and communal values. The intersection of religious teachings with contemporary psychological and sociological principles further affirms the timeless relevance of these ethical frameworks in fostering a just, compassionate, and balanced society.

Allah Almighty has disapproved of a harsh tone. Do not raise your voice or shout in the presence of children, for they start to perceive that yelling is an admirable act. When parents speak with gentleness, eloquence, and a soft tone, the children's speech naturally becomes gentler and more melodious.

Instill the practice in children to carry out tasks with their own hands. Dependence on servants renders children indolent, lethargic, and impotent. It diminishes their fortitude to confront the adversities and vicissitudes of life. Such children are not industrious nor persevering.

At times, encourage your children to provide food, money, clothing, etc., to the poor and the destitute, so that within them may develop a sense of compassion, generosity, and charity. Dine with them, offer them bites from your own hand, and instruct them to feed their siblings. This act fosters the cultivation of an awareness of human rights and the essential principles of justice, manifesting in the individual's character in its fullest form.

The share of a daughter in inheritance has been established by God with complete integrity and meticulousness in this world. No individual holds the authority to modify or diminish it according to personal discretion. Resorting to subterfuge to alter the daughter's rightful portion constitutes an act of betrayal and a violation of Allah's divine law.